Welcome to the message board. I hope you use it to express your ideas, within reason. Your comments may be posted to support a dialogue. This should be a serious format and also fun way to get acquainted. I take the liberty of screening all messages before they appear on the website, but then any Colonel would do the same.
- Grethe

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Np Practicing
Deborah
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:10:49.000 (post #: 158)

Hi, I saw the movie again last night and was intrigued that when you did declare that you were a lesbian you also said that you didn't actually have sex with women. I am a 43 year old lesbian and I am not meaning to be rude, but why would you bother calling yourself a lesbian when you don't have sex with women ? I can understand that there is an enormous emotional attraction to women, but the love making is surely the clincher when labelling yourself. I'm not being nasty, just curious.
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Re: Np Practicing
Grethe
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:12:29.000 (post #: 159)

I think the question is more basic, our sexual orientation is not about behavior or conduct but emotional connectedness. No one ever asks "when did you decide to be come a heterosexual?". It was never determined by sexual experience, perhaps affirmed but not the prerequisite to identification. I don't believe I have ever discussed sexual conduct in any of my writings or statements so you have made some assumptions from your readings or viewing the film. Thanks for stopping by. grethe
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Re: Re: Np Practicing
Helen
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:12:59.000 (post #: 160)

Hello--I too have read the book several times. The emotional portion of the film was done in very good taste. I think her book fills in alot of things that were not covered in the film. Did the Colonel actually admit or not admit having sex with a woman? I don't think so. I feel that there is more to love than sex although it is the "frosting on the cake." Remember this was a film and some things were probably added or deleted. Emotion is a funny thing.Age seems to make no difference.I am one of the older ones. Thank God we have someone like Colonel Cammermeyer fighting for us. Thanks Colonel.
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Re: Np Practicing
Chad
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:13:46.000 (post #: 161)

Come on!.., what the hell does sex have to do with what's in your heart? What if there was no physical way to have sex with your partner? Would you question your love? Your orientation? I'm straight. If I couldn't have sex with my wife.., I would still be straight and I would still love her. Making love and being in love(with whatever gender)do not always depend on the other..,
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Re: Re: Np Practicing
Betsy
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:15:26.000 (post #: 162)

I agree, that it is all about emotional connectedness regardless whether you are sraight or gay. Being gay is part of who you are, but should not change you as a person or human being. My family, friends and co-workers see me for me and the relationship we have and whether I am gay or not does not matter. It is that I am happy and healthy and that I treat people with love and kindness that is important. Why does it matter whether Grethe realized she was a lesbian because she felt the emotional connection and not because she was having sexual relationships. It is more than just sex. It is how it makes you feel and the love you have for your life partner. One should look at it this way-connected at the hip but the winds of heaven blow between us. You are connected in a special bond but have your own uniqueness. Free to be who you are without prejudice. Prayers and Kisses, Betsy
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Re: Re: Re: Np Practicing
Helen
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:16:20.000 (post #: 163)

Do you think companionship plays a large role in our lives? Helen
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Np Practicing
Grethe
Submitted: 2002-10-03 22:17:09.000 (post #: 164)

I am not sure what you mean by companionship. Same gender relationships form because of what they have in common. There are some things that never need to be explained because each of us has had the same (though personal) experience. We get some of those basics and don't need to put words to it. I think of menstrual periods, of hot flashes, even of being a Vietnam vet; people who have been there just know what it is like. And so it is with companionship-the bond is there without needing to explain the details. Grethe
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Re: Re: Np Practicing
Grethe
Submitted: 2002-10-04 13:56:20.000 (post #: 182)

I do love my straight friends.
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Re: Re: Np Practicing
pat
Submitted: 2002-10-11 17:41:14.000 (post #: 183)

Surely you have to have sexual feelings for the same sex, whether or not you act upon them (for whatever reason) - emotional connectedness is the main thing in any relationship, but surely the sexual feeling is what changes the relationship from friendship to something,I won't say more, but different. I can only base my observations on how the film made it seem, but the implication there was rather that the relationship probably was sexual but couldn't be openly so. I really am NOT asking about the real life situation - that is a private matter and Grethe you are right in keeping it so, just commenting on an interpretation of the film. (and maybe just wanted it to be that way cos I think Glenn Close is gorgeous and I would find it hard to keep my hands off her!!!) I'm bisexual as it happens, most women (and men!) leave me cold, but I call myself bi because I am sexually attacted to people of both sexes.
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