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Am I classifiable?
Diane Smith
Submitted: 2008-04-24 12:58:46.000 (post #: 2228)

Without going into great detail about my life, I will say that I have married twice, divorced with relief once, and widowed once. I grieve for my husband, by whom I had two children but I am strangely content now. I do not date nor seek men for their attention; I am whole alone. My kids still live with me as adults, which everyone I know deplores, but we have no other family. I was raised an only child and worshipped my father, who remained loving and caring but still remote from me because I was not a boy. So I tried to be his boy, I think. All my life I've been a tomboy, not a girlie girl at all. I prefer men's work, the company of men, and of course I am excluded. I am bored stiff with women's talk and interests. So I've become something of a loner, content with myself. I think I may be asexual although I have had a normal women's sex drive. I am not attracted to women. As I grow older I am no longer attracted to men, either. So am I truly asexual? And is that heredity or environment, or both? Someone else's input would be appreciated because of course I do not confide in my kids nor anyone I know.
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Submitted: 2008-08-19 16:39:13.000 (post #: 2254)

Yes, you can classify yourself as anything you want. Giving yourself a name is the first step towards establishing an identity. Once people become comfortable in that identity they often shed some of their labels. Ultimately, you are the only person capable of classifying yourself.
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Submitted: 2008-10-15 02:22:58.000 (post #: 2268)

I often wonder the same about myself. I have had one profound relationship with a woman but dated boys all through my youth. I was not then, and still am no now, attracted to either gender. There are certain people that catch my eye every now and then... but it is purely intellectual. Although, I must say that I did have a commitment ceremony with my partner a few months ago. I love her dearly... but I can honestly say that her gender is not what attracted me to her. But I do appreciate that she is a woman. I think it is a beautiful thing. However, the difference between you and me is that I do tell other people that I am not attracted to either sex. Everyone just sees it as my overwhelming purpose to do good in the world rather than get tied down by monotonous relationships. No one questions it. Actually, sometimes its a joke in certain conversations. :o) Only you can classify yourself. Personally, I hate labels. Good luck. But you are not alone. - Jessica
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