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Being able to have access to your partner while she is in the hospital
Angelika Bertrand
Submitted: 2008-05-28 14:07:09.000 (post #: 2232)

Yeah, that is surely a problem here in the state of Utah. I mean we both have power of Attorney's and such legal documents. I fread it , when my partner has to undergo knee replacement surgery this month. And I will need to be there for her. Her alien (elderly 84 year old mom), is not able to do this for her. We go to Doctors appointment together. We can't reveal being Lesbian's to our physicians. Funny, isn't it. But we take care of each other, while one of us is ill. Why do we not deserve the same rights as heterosexual couples do? Why has it made so difficult for us? Sometimes , I wonder this country professes to be so for "Equality and equal rights. " All honesty, when I feel that we are not so Equal and not having such equal rights for every one." Sometimes, I wonder what it must take to stop having to pretend all our lives? I hate these lies. I hate these to having to pretend. Is there every going to be a recourse for us? What would you do Dr. Cammermeyer? Does our legally drawn paper really help us?
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Re: Being able to have access to your partner while she is in the hospital
Submitted: 2008-05-29 18:33:58.000 (post #: 2233)

Even in Utah I would think you have some choices. Firstly, if you have legal papers regarding powers of attorney, etc you should be able to be part of the health care discussions. You have some choices about who is your doctor? If you can't be out to your health care provider, chose someone else! It is sometimes our own homophobia that keeps us from moving forward. Worse care senerio, if you are turned down for visitation etc, I would contact the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco and see what they would recommend. They are an extraordinary organization fighting for that equality you speak of, and just won the California marriage right case.
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Re: Being able to have access to your partner while she is in the hospital
Submitted: 2008-09-12 16:33:03.000 (post #: 2256)

Though the surgery has already passed (and I do hope your partner is recovering well) I just thought I would give a few pointers on the matter. I work for my state Attorney General's Office. We provide a life-care-planning kit on our website or will send one by mail to any constituent who requests it. Basically it contains a Living Will (end of life care), durable medical and mental power of attorney, and a DNR (do not resuscitate form). You should contact your state AG's office and request this packet. Though certain states have specific rules on who can be in "the room" while medical procedures or certain forms of care are taking place you are able to your partners PoA. I agree with Col. Cammermeyer that if you are not able to be "out" to your health care providers you should choose someone else. If you find someone who will be sympathetic and understanding of your situation you will often find that they will treat you just like life partners rather than just "good friends". May your journey prove to be successful. Best of health to you and yours. - Jessica
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Angelika bertrand
Submitted: 2011-07-24 21:11:14.000 (post #: 2407)

Thanks dr cammermeyer! Its been already three years since she had the surgery.we did give our legal documents to the hospital and rehab.we could not reveal us being a married couple! But the dr and nurses were cool and i got a lot of relief for takibf care of kaye.she is doing remarkable well with her new knees.she is retiring this year.hope all is well with you and di and family
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